Olaf: what do you want to say here?
Pilaf: well, I guess...
Olaf: whoah! Hold on! You guess?
Pilaf: Yes, as a matter of fact, I often guess. Is there a law against guessing?
Olaf: There sure is. It's called H.R. 12f34Skidoo and it's vintage anti-guess legislation.
Pilaf: But what's so sinful about guessing?
Olaf: Who said anything about it being sinful? Some of my breast friends are sinners.
Pilaf: But I thought we all are sinners, no?
Olaf: Hey, if you ain't got $50 million bucks in the bank, now that's a sin.
Pilaf: So, in other turds, if I want to avoid being a sinner all I have to do is become incredibly, fiendishly wealthy and then just buy off whatever force in the universe might decide to brand me a sinner?
Olaf: Absotively, posilutely. Sure (although here we're pronunciating "sure" as if it was pronounsterbated "soor")
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Welcome to Procrastination 101
Welcome to Procrastination 101, I'm your instructor Cornelius T. Atwithers III. I will now go over the structure of the course. There are four parts:
I Ancient Greek procrastination
II Procrastination during the reign of King Louis XIV
III Post modern deconstructionist procrastination
IV The future of procrastination (although we might not get to this part because I just can't seem to get around to putting together the reading and writing assignments for that subject)
There will be reading assignments each week of anywhere from 50 to 250 pages. By the end of the semester you will have translated from French to English the entire 1,000 page memoir La Vie Procrastinacione by Marcel DuBois .
In addition, three papers will be assigned. The first will be 50 pages long. In it, you will describe in extreme detail, all the times you've ever procrastinated. The second paper will pose the question HWJP? (or How Would Jesus Procrastinate?). And finally, your third paper will focus on famous presidents who have procrastinated.
Any student who turns in two or more assignments on or before the due date will immediately receive a failing grade (well, not immediately, first we have to finish watching the complete season four of Survivor and then if we haven't forgotten about it, we'll fail said student).
Classes begin promptly at 9 AM and any student who is not at least five minutes late will be frowned upon in a most unpleasant way.
Failure to complete two or more assignments will result in a very good grade.
I Ancient Greek procrastination
II Procrastination during the reign of King Louis XIV
III Post modern deconstructionist procrastination
IV The future of procrastination (although we might not get to this part because I just can't seem to get around to putting together the reading and writing assignments for that subject)
There will be reading assignments each week of anywhere from 50 to 250 pages. By the end of the semester you will have translated from French to English the entire 1,000 page memoir La Vie Procrastinacione by Marcel DuBois .
In addition, three papers will be assigned. The first will be 50 pages long. In it, you will describe in extreme detail, all the times you've ever procrastinated. The second paper will pose the question HWJP? (or How Would Jesus Procrastinate?). And finally, your third paper will focus on famous presidents who have procrastinated.
Any student who turns in two or more assignments on or before the due date will immediately receive a failing grade (well, not immediately, first we have to finish watching the complete season four of Survivor and then if we haven't forgotten about it, we'll fail said student).
Classes begin promptly at 9 AM and any student who is not at least five minutes late will be frowned upon in a most unpleasant way.
Failure to complete two or more assignments will result in a very good grade.
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